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Funny Fake Excuses to Explain Your System Inefficiency

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Funny Fake Excuses to Explain Your System Inefficiency

Funny Fake Excuses to Explain Your System Inefficiency

Caught in a system failure or is your computer hung up?

Everyone dislikes excuses, but sometimes, you need one to explain why you didn’t do something you should have been doing or had done before. Usually, as a professional and up-to-date cell phone repair shop business, your systems are expected to be available 24/7 and highly efficient.  But, at some time or another, technology has turned on us all.

When you’re in the middle of a computer glitch, technological breakdown, or somehow caught in “the system”, there’s not much that’s fun or funny about it. However, you can be creative in justifying their lethargy.

RepairDesk gives some funny excuses you can come up with (just for fun).

Somebody Is Calculating Pi on the Server

Pi! While we like pies, Pi has always been a pain ever since middle school. This infinite number explains everything yet explains nothing and goes on and on and on. So, if your server is hung, it is probably because someone has finally decided to calculate 22/7.

Make sure you analyze your customer first as you don’t want to be too funny with a grouchy customer. You should at least get a HA HA with this one.

We’re Stuck in Global Warming

Blame nature for the inconvenience. When your computer heats up, it is global warming’s fault. It is as simple as that. Then you can continue the conversation by talking about global warming and how hot it is.

This constructive conversation will give you time to resolve the actual issue without letting the customer burn with irritation.

Electromagnetic Radiations from Satellite Debris Causing Distortion

Okay, so all of your customers will not understand this one. However, it is funny. While most of your customers will begin wondering what you are talking about, you will have a chance to get your system to speed up. Crack a laugh yourself if you aren’t getting the response you expected. Laughter is contagious.

Boss Forgot System Password

Being forgetful is so common that everyone will believe you. This is the easiest way to stall and an excuse that you can use in an emergency. But don’t blame it on yourself. Blame it on your boss. Your boss forgot the password which is why you are now stuck and your boss is busy recalling what it was. Was it his favorite ice cream? Or his last girlfriend’s name?

The Mouse has Escaped

An oldie but goldie.  This may be considered a lame statement, yet it sure can make someone giggle. When you encounter a hardware malfunctioning, say something like “Somebody skateboards the keyboard” or “The printer is angry about waking it up” etc. Small talk, at least it can buy you time.

Server Depressed, Needs Prozac

Someone once said, “Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry” because it’ll go as lazy as it can. Make it your aim to entertain the customer as well as to kill time. Everyone knows servers get stuck and then take ample time to recover. Instead of telling them that outright, just tell the server is depressed. If it is a Monday, you can say the server has Monday blues. Funny, right?

Dew on The Telephone Lines or Telephone Lines are Hacked

Call sessions with the customers are sometimes the most irritating ones, especially when you can’t hear the other person clearly. In order to refrain from apologizing every 10 seconds, simply tell them the telephone lines are dewy and you need a minute to get a good signal. Sigh, the problems with telephones in this super tech-savvy world.

If you are dealing with grouchy customers, here are a few tips to help you cope. Read How To Deal With Aggressive Customers:

Try these too if they are relevant:

  • The Router Thinks It’s a Printer.
  • A plumber is needed, the network drain is clogged.
  • Boredom in the Kernel.
  • The daemons! the daemons! the terrible daemons!
  • I’d love to help you — it’s just that the Boss won’t let me near the computer.
  • According to Microsoft, it’s by design.
  • Error: one bad user found in front of a screen.
  • Sales staff sold a product we don’t offer.

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